I feel like I should compose a lengthy grandiloquent post that reintroduces myself to committing to my writing projects. However, to do so would be redundant. There’s not much I can say that I haven’t already said before. I’ve lost a lot of time doing more of the same self-questioning and mental meandering that I’ve subscribed to in the past, alternating what between feeling like I’m trying to figure out what I need to do and planning out what it is I already knew I needed to do. The issue was that I lacked the one thing I truly needed: conviction. It’s easy to dream big and spend time planning, but putting thoughts into motion is another matter entirely.
I already assessed my life and made a decision to change. I already made a fitness plan and figured out a format for it.
However, I didn’t see it through. The list of excuses is long…I ended up feeling like it was a worthless endeavor, that I felt like I didn’t have anything to say, that life got too hectic to keep up with it all. In the end, all I was missing was me. Belief, confidence, trust, and dedication to myself.
What I have come to realize in the past couple months is that there is no choice. The time for endless introspection, self-doubt, and carefree living has been passed and is no longer an option. Now, it’s time to truly live up to and become the person I truly am.
Though I’m not religious by any means, my feeling is best summarized by a bible quote:
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
-1 Corinthians 13:11
It’s time to give up the things I’ve openly resented but secretly took comfort in – not because I have to, but because I WANT to.
This is my personal exodus.
This is me, beta alpha 1.
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